Month: November 2015

It would have been important to know…

Just like any girl in the online dating world, I am a little cautious before I meet someone new. If I can, I pick a place not super close to me, but not next to my house, and definitely one I have been to before. Just like a million times before, this is what I did.

We decided to meet at Huttenbar, which is in the heart of Lincoln Square. We had exchanged a week’s worth of actual conversation, and not once was he like innappropriate or rude (instead of the guy who is letting me know you like my butt? ummm ok you weirdo. Ps, we have and will never meet).

So just like I do on my way to all my first dates, I skim their profile and then our conversation. As I arrive at Huttenbar, I see that he is already there. We talk for about an hour and things are going well. As we order another beer, the conversation turns.

Him: “So I am assuming, if you read my profile, you’re okay with it.”

Me: “Ok with what?!” I had, indeed, read his profile, and was completely lost.

Him: “Well.. I’m looking for an open relationship. I could have sworn I said that on my profile.”

Me: “Um, No. You did not.”

Him: (looks at me reassuringly) “It’s ok, my wife is ok with it!”

Me: “WHAT?!”


Me: “I’m gonna lay something out for you real quick. 1. That shit is NOT on your profile. 2. Anyone who says that she is okay with it is either lying to you, or doesn’t care if you sleep around, which means she has found something better. You don’t know me well enough to know this, but that ain’t my thing. These beers are on you. K’Bye.”

Him: “Sarah! It’s not that big a deal!”

Bartender: “Good god….”



Before you meet this man that you think is “The One…” (A Shout out to my ladies dating online)

Did you first find out his name? It’s surprising to me how late in the conversation someone actually introduces themselves. Did you guess that his name was not “rippedblackhawksman75” just like I did? (Also, on a side note, what is going on with these usernames?!) Anyways, if you don’t know the name, how will you do that awkward dance when you find each other at the coffee shop, or my personal favorite, the bar?

Second, have you found out a few things about him? Like,¬†ANYTHING? Because if you’re like me, you’ll be nervewrecked about finding him in the bar, and then about what the hell you will talk about for an hour. Get some scoop, so you have something to talk about. I’d like to note: You don’t HAVE to exchange numbers, but exchanging numbers will give you insight before your date. Do they text you, every five minutes, like Chris did to me? Or every five days, like Johnny? Do they call, seem interested? It’s great insight so you don’t waste your precious time.

Does someone know you’re going? I’m not your mother, and I’m not trying to be old fashioned, but the world is crazy nowadays and you must employ someone to be your “check-in” person. I sometimes value the fact that they may text you TOO much, because they want to know how its going. Although I have never left a date early, I would be more inclined to use that as a way out, if necessary. Better to always be prepared. (Love those Boy Scouts).

Lastly, where are you meeting? I love you dearly, but if this is your first, and maybe even second time meeting, Public it is. You know don’t if he’s an ax murderer (PS: if you can never figure out what to say to a guy when he invites you over, I actually do say this. 98 percent of the time it has elicited laughs), or if he wants to wear your skin for dinner. Gross? Yeah, but guess what, I have never felt like that was going to be an outcome because of meeting locations. Also, he doesn’t know that you aren’t an ax murderer.

Gotta play it safe!


Or we could just skip the middle…


Dating used to consist of courting, discussion, finding shared interests, but instead we are now finding that the norm is to just let the other person know what we want! I know nothing about you, but let’s get married! It’s these types of messages that I can only assume are either intentionally crazy or meant to try and stand out from the normal, “hey”. At this point I almost always welcome the normal hey. I mean, unless you are looking for a quick vegas wedding.. then, nevermind…